I just don’t seem to be cruise ship material.

This was the 5th open call I’ve attended in order to fulfill (one of) my dream(s).
The first was Royal Caribbean. I tried to sing a song way beyond my range and cracked like a 13 year old boy.
The second was Disney. Though it’s not stated on their audition site, an insider tells me I’m too tall and had no chance.
The third was a group called “Stiletto Entertainment” who casts shows for multiple ships. That one went better. I don’t remember what I sung, but I know I didn’t leave feeling like a total failure.
The fourth was Norwegian. I took a trip to NY specifically to audition for them. I was asked to sing a second song, which was a big deal but then told, “thank you,” and I left, with no callbacks or offers.

After the Norwegian audition, I decided I would make an audition tape to send to all the cruise lines.
It’s a pretty fabulous mix of rock, pop and musical theatre (comment if you’d like to see the final product).
I uploaded it to Carnival and sent the rest out in the mail.

Carnival emailed me back and recommended I attend a live audition.
I haven’t heard from anyone else.

So, back to Thursday.
I rented a car and drove to Nashville, TN.
I stayed at a lovely Hampton Inn.
The head of entertainment guy came out to give us some pointers and then the auditions began.
I rocked some “Something to Talk About” and was asked what else I had!
I mentioned “Son of a Preacher Man” and “Flashdance: What a Feeling.”
He asked for the latter and I sung the crap out of it.

He thanked me and handed back my headshot.

So…I wonder whether it’s not my time or it’s just not my thing.
As disappointing as it was, I still have to try and look at the bright side.
It’s what I do.
I’ll assume there’s something else in the works for me.
I’ll assume I should never give up on any of my dreams.

I wouldn’t mind a little guidance, though…

There was a random cattle call for Spider-man 4 yesterday here in Charlotte (yes…there will be a 4th). I was excited to be put on the list and given the opportunity to audition for the movie, set to start filming in February. I was not very excited about the fact that auditions didn’t start until 4pm and I had somewhere to be at 7pm a pretty hefty distance away.

I decided to show up early so I could get seen early and then not have to rush to my next fabulous thing (more on that later). There were no assigned times and a billion people showed up to this random Caribbean Restaurant (Really?) which could not hold us. They asked us to line up outside. It was 87 or more degrees. Yay.

I got a little nervous because I needed to stay pretty and I also needed to sing in a couple hours. The Casting Director was late and it was a very slow process. I finally got seen at 5:30 – the time I had decided I needed to leave. The CD was nice, I guess. But I read my monologue for him and was not asked to read it again on camera. Woohoo waste of time!

So, I run to my car, get my directions set and hit the road.

Crap. Traffic. ALL the traffic.

I mean, seriously, I’ve never seen so much red on the little traffic map before in my life! 3 crazy accidents all one the first highway I needed. My loving husband furiously searched for an alternate route for me. (He’s so sweet.)  The alternate route, while more helpful than the parking lot that was 85 south, was full of lights. 14 miles of lights. Needless to say, I was not making it on time to my next gig.

Let’s take a moment to take in what the next gig was:

A Master Class with Stephen Schwartz.
Stephen. F*ing. Schwartz.

You don’t know him? Here’s a link http://www.stephenschwartz.com/
You don’t feel like clicking? He wrote the music for such musicals and movies as Godspell, Pippin, The Prince of Egypt, Wicked and Enchanted. You’ve heard of him now.

Since I paid my first born to sing for this man, you can imagine how upset I was that I was going to be no less than 20 minutes late. Unless I could somehow alter the time-space continuum, those were the facts. I pretty much panicked the entire drive. The Clater Kaye Theatreworks people were very kind and said it was alright that I’d be late.  But still. Who wants to make that sort of impression?

The class was great. There was a Q&A at the beginning and I got to find out a lot about Stephen’s style, influences and pet peeves! At about 8:30, we finally started singing. 10 would go at a time and Stephen (as well as collaborators on a review they’re doing in Hickory) would critique us one by one.

At 10:00-ish it was finally time for me to sing! I picked the song I do the best – coincidentally Schwartz’s favorite song he’s ever written – “Stranger to the Rain.” I was exhausted, mentally, emotionally and physically. I almost switched to something else that was easier on my voice, but I came there to sing HIS song. So I did.

It wasn’t bad. It was pretty good for the state I was in, but it wasn’t great. It needed to BE great. I felt myself fall out of character. The accompanist wasn’t amazing (it’s not an easy piece). I pushed my high D. I knew it wasn’t there but I tried anyway. Again, it wasn’t bad. I got a lot of praise from the class because it was a good enough audition. But it wasn’t clear or easy. It needs to be both.

Stephen Schwartz is a doll. He is sooooo nice. I <3 him. His critique was fair and far kinder than I thought I deserved. He wants me to concentrate on making my break less obvious and told me to work on my high belt so it sounds less forced. (Yup. I know!!) He did say it started out really really well, though. (That was sweet) He did not, however, invite me to be in his next Broadway hit show

How did I “sabotage” myself?

1. I knew the Spider-man thing would make it too close.
2. Instead of breathing, I freaked out the entire drive.
3. I did not hydrate myself well-enough
4. Knowing my voice was tired, I should have switched songs.
5. I was never “in” my song. I know better than that!

Until I can walk into a room and rock the crap out of anything – no matter my mood or physical or emotional well-being – I’m not ready for the big time. How seriously to I take this? That is a very scary question that I have been avoiding answering for a long time. I need to get my priorities straight and figure out exactly what I want with my life. If it’s what I already have then I need to start appreciating that or I need to start being WAY more proactive.

What to do? It’s hard to explain how very badly I want to be the Little Mermaid. My closest friends and family know. I’m 2-3 inches too tall for the show in Disney World, so I had ultimately given up on my dream. Broadway, though is different. They can hire anyone, right?

Maybe I’ll start a fund. It’s only about $225 round trip.

UPDATE: a friend has donated miles!  Now it’ll only be $80!!

UPDATE: I’m going!!!

Oh.  I chose not to audition for “Sound of Music.”  The theatre is so far away and my friend wasn’t going to be going out for it after all.  Plus, I kinda don’t like the show.  Sorry to all you die hards.

I did, however, audition for the Fantasticks.  That theatre was way closer and a friend of mine is directing it.  I dressed super cute and young and decided to go and rock it.  I got lost on the way.  Then I messed up a song I’m usally pretty awesome at.  Oops.  Thankfully, those involved know I’m  better than that and I got asked to return for callbacks.

I dressed even cuter for callbacks.  It was basically between 3 of us for the only girl role.  2 of us were “old” and married and 1 was super adorable and the actual age of Louisa.  We all gave our best performances and put our own spins on the character.  It was just a matter of who the lead boy would be.

As usual, my height and age doomed me.  The Matt that was chosen was shorter and way younger.  There’s no way I could have looked 16 next to him.  My friend went with the youngest girl for the role, as suspected.  Oh well!

I’m really freakin’ excited for my next audition:
Evil Dead the Musical.
There seriously could not be anything more awesome than that.

Auditions January 10th.
Details later!

OK!  If I had updated with as many calls I’ve received from Sesame Street then I would have had lots of posts.  I mean lots.  Let’s get on with it already!

On Saturday they called me late in the evening and left a message (I was taking a wonderful bubble bath and missed the call).  It was the lady I had been talking to letting me know that they were ready to offer me the job that “we talked about.”  I tried to call her back but to no avail.  Left a message to tell her I wanted all the details!

Sunday came and went.  We hung some lights!

On Monday morning I got a call from someone ELSE from the company.  A lovely lady.  She proceeded to tell me that they jumped the gun in offering me the Jenny-only job and then explained to me why this was so freakin’ hard.  2 people were previously cast in 50/5o splits for the two roles.  It would be a little mean to come in and make the other girl do both while I get to hang out and let the understudy be Rosita.  If they had originally cast the show that way, this wouldn’t be a problem.

I let her know how uncomfortable I am working in a costume and how I suck at dancing.  She concurred and told me she’d keep figuring it out.  I apologized for making her job so hard and said I’d gladly wait for the final update.

Mrs. Sesame rung me on Tuesday with a final decision.  She let me know that the 50/50 split was the only way.  They wanted be so badly though, that they were willing to make the choreography easier for my abilities.  (Haha…kick ball changes and pas de bourree?) She also talked about helping me adapt to the costume in stages and blah blah blah.  I just let her know that I had an appointment with a foot doctor and that I’d let her know for sure right after.

***BTW, my feet had been hurting for a while but never thought about it until I started waking up in the night in excruciating pain.  I wasn’t expecting her to call me until Thursay, so I felt guilty not disclosing that info from the start.  I honestly thought it was nothing***

By Wednesday afternoon I made my decision to stay in Charlotte, but she wasn’t expecting my call until 5:00 so I waited to call her after the appointment.  In my lovely Doctor’s visit I found out that I had plantar fascititis and thus was given a physical reason on top of my emotional reasons to not do the tour.  I felt badly saying “no,” but as one of the women at my agency said, “It’s a fine art; but really easy once you start…”

I hope so.

Well, I guess you don’t need to tell me how to get to Sesame Street after all.  I might be blacklisted

The frustrating thing about community theatre is that you can’t audition for everything and just see what offers you get.  Not like in New York.  You have to choose carefully so as not to offend anyone.  I have done that here and totally not on purpose.  I hate disappointing people.

I’ve chosen 2 shows (for now) that I’ll definitely audition for; The Fantasticks and Sound of Music.  Honestly, I don’t really love either show but I have good reasons to go out for them:

• I’m in musical withdrawal
• My friend is directing one of the shows
• That same show is close to home
• My friends have worked with the other director before and loved it
• The same friends are going out for that show and it would be fun to work with them
• I need to sing and act.  Now.

Oftentimes theatre is more about the relationships and bonds you form than anything else.  I crave those friendships.  I love working with good directors even if I don’t like the show because the process is fascinating when you get to see their brilliance come to life.

Hopefully I get notice from SS before I go to these auditions.  Last thing I want to do is piss anyone off!

P.S. I need to get some film/tv/commerical auditions!  I’m getting bored.

• The show is a truck and bus tour (travel on mondays, off on tuesdays and practice/shows for the rest of the week).
• Mostly up and down the east coast.  East of the Mississippi.
• $361 per week and a $336 per diem (per week) to pay for hotels
• I would double 2 roles:  The lead singer, Jenny who is the music teacher and wears no costume and Rosita, a blue monster who dances.
• I would get $40 more per week to play Rosita
• I would have December 22-28th off and they would help pay me to get home and back to the next leg of the tour.

There you go.  6 years ago this would be way more intriguing.  I told the lady that I’m not a strong dancer.  All they have to do is watch the tape of the audition and they would know.  I really have no desire to dress as a monster.  I have claustrophobia in those types of costumes.  When I auditioned, I checked off the box that said “production singer only.”  If this was for Jenny only, I would have told her I was available tomorrow.

The actual contracts start going out tomorrow.  We’ll see what/if I get offered!

UPDATE: They called me again.  They are no longer making one person do both roles.  Only casting for Jenny!  Yippee!  BUT now I won’t know for a few weeks.

So begins the wait…

I arrived at the audition ready to sing 2 contrasting songs; “If I were and Bell” and “Til There was You.”  Well, they’re not terribly different but I don’t have much repertoire in the “classical” section of my book.  I was able to sing pretty soon after I got there.  For some reason the accompanist didn’t play the music, so I did most of it a cappella.  Thankfully, I already saw him do the same thing to the girl ahead of me, so I was prepared and just sung the hell out of my pieces.

After singing, I had to do a few scenes.  They gave me 4 separate roles to read for all in a row.  I felt rather schizophrenic.  I thought I had pretty much rocked it.  Thanks to the month of practice in the Big Apple!  I was asked to stay for the callbacks which were only an hour later.

Dressed to dance, I was ready to give them more!  The callbacks went really well.  I saw lots of people I know; some of whom I’d worked with before and others that I had been looking forward to working with.  We were basically told we’d all be cast so I was excited.

A week later, people start getting the calls.  All the roles I wanted were taken by the end of the day Wednesday.  I finally got my call on Thursday and I was offered Ensemble as well as understudying Mrs. Martini (hilarious opera role).  I accepted knowing I’d get paid a good amount of money and I’d be working with some great actors.  I was upset, admittedly.  I thought I would get a good role.  I got over it in a few days

Fast forward to last week.  First week of rehearsals!  We spent all night Monday dancing and staging the beginning of Act 2.  I had a solo in the song; which was a fun medley of Christmas music.  We left that night looking forward to finishing the choreography for the song on Wednesday.  On Wednesday afternoon, I received a call from Sesame Street Live! inquiring about my availability for December.  I respectfully declined because I was already contracted for the local show.

So…we got to our rehearsal space later that evening.  Only about half the cast was there, but I didn’t think much of it.  Mark, our lead, the guy who got the whole show into motioned sits us down.  The mood immediately turned somber.  Mark explained for about 20 minutes how one makes a show happen; mentioning financial backers and promisary notes.  He then let us know that people had backed out and how hard it was to find anyone else because of the economy.  He seemed broken.

The show has to be postponed until next year when, we hope, the economy is on our side.  They just didn’t have enough money to put on the show, advertise and pay us.  Most of us would have probably done it for free, but the big guys just didn’t want to do that to us.  I get it.  It’s sad.  There went a good chunk of change that we budgeted into the next 2 months.

Now I’m subsititute teaching like a mo-fo and trying to do anything extra.

Next auditions are December 8th and 9th…

Ahh!  What do I even write?

This will be a blog about my singing and acting stuff.  It may or not be interesting to you.  I may start with my recent trip to NYC.  Or about the show I was in for 2 seconds but got cancelled because of the economy.  Yay!  I guess we’ll see.

For now, I’m gonna try and figure out how to format this thing.

I’ll add a clip of me singing a song from “Children of Eden.”

Stranger to the Rain